2 With Spirit

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one particular day stays fresh in my mind. for a couple short hours we were  "us". You, me, and Jess. The way we were when we first became a family. In the midst of the insanity, altered directions- for a little while we eased back into the three of us.

I think it was August, maybe September. I had just returned to Ave. R after showering on Princeton. It was hot outside but not scorching. Brenda stopped by to visit, then Jess. I was surprised to see Jess. College, boyfriend, work, her own place – she was living her own life, becoming an adult with adult time constraints and schedules. Jess even went out in the backyard with Rex and Abby and played ball for awhile. The three of us were sitting on the bed "girl-talking" when you came by. I was more surprised to see you†than I had been to see Jess. You rarely stopped by anymore just to say hello. Time was in short supply and you were always running late. But there you were, breezing in like it used to be.

I was sitting on the bed with my back against the headboard. Brenda and Jess were talking and laughing – I can’t tell you about†what because I had looked up and caught you looking at me. The familiar look on your face – "your look" – head to one side, half smile – half Cheshire cat grin. When you looked at me with ‘your look’ – the world around me ceased to exist, -sound, movement, scents, all became non-existent. A glance from you still took my breath away and made my stomach flitter-flutter.

You didn’t shift your focus when I caught you looking at me- instead you held your gaze.†-long enough†I†began to wonder†if†I had a mark streaking across my face -†"What?" I†asked and laughed, curious now†why†you continued to†stare at me- so quiet, so cute, -so you.††

You smiled and mouthed, "You’re beautiful." A little surprised by your answer, I laughed again-  wondering where that came from.

"what?"

"You’re beautiful," you mouthed again, then grinned, shrugged your shoulders and jumped into Jess and Brenda’s conversation. I don’t remember what we talked about after that and I don’t remember how much longer you stayed before shooting out the door. But I do remember we laughed alot. And I kept looking at you wondering what you were up to.† One of those snippets†of time after someone dies that you look back on and wonder, – did we know something we didn’t know that day? or was it only what it was – the good day.