Posted on Saturday 10 December 2005
can barely hold my eyes open. miserable trying not to fall asleep when my body’s fighting me every blink of the way. fucking nightmares, don’t have as many but the ones I do have are progressively bloodier, uglier, -worse than the last.
me in the Tracker
blurry eyed
can’t see what’s going around me
except for what’s close enough to touch.
screaming for help,
“SOMEONE ANYONE PLEASE OH MY GOD PLEASE.”
don’t look down, don’t look don’t look
it’ll make him dead if you look.
hands biting into my arms pulling at me,
“can’t help him now. come on out of there.”
laughing.
twisting turning out of their grasp,
almost losing my grip
tear mixed blood, slippery hands
can’t let go because his head will fall apart if I let go.
thats why i find its better to stay awake as much as i can sometimes.some days are worse than others. i hope today is better for you.
Cat,
I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I too have thought of my wife that I lost in 1998 sometimes. You should always remember, but you have to make a concious decision to move on. Until you do so, life will continue to be hard. I truly understand you pain. I hope someway you find some strength. If I can help, just let me know.
ed